Wild Horses and Noble Masters
by DrummondType2
Summary: What happens when Ranma Saotome runs headlong into Shinra Kuonji and co. from They Are My Noble Masters?
1. Chapter 1

Wild Horses and Noble Masters

By

Bryan Weber.

Disclaimer: I do not own either Ranma 1/2 or They are my Noble Masters. Both are being used without permission. Both series and all related characters are the respective properties of their owners and/or copyright holders. Please do not sue, as I am not making any money on this.

It was a bright and sunny day in the Nerima Ward. On the way to Furinkan High School, Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo took notice of a limousine entering the gates of the Kuno Estate.

"Wow, Kuno's receiving some high-class visitors," Ranma whistled.

"Well, they are still a well-to-do family," Akane said, "It's only natural. They might be there for Kodachi, too."

"Anyone who'd have anything to do with the Kunos is someone I want to avoid," Ranma said sourly, "Come on, Akane, we're going to be late."

Inside the Kuno Estate, Sasuke Sarugakure kept a close vigil as his mistress, the twisted Black Rose, Kodachi Kuno, entertained her visitors. He was not alone in his vigil. At his side were two young women and a stately gentleman.

"Colonel, Benisu-san, Natose-san, it's been a long time," Sasuke said.

"Indeed," The Colonel nodded, "But we will talk later."

"Shinra, Miyu, Yume, how wonderful that you could all accept my invitation to tea," Kodachi said, smiling sweetly, "I'm afraid Miss Kurusugawa and Miss Kousaka will not be joining us."

Shinra Kuonji shrugged faintly, "It's just as well. Tamaki Kousaka and I have never been particularly close."

"Probably because they're too much alike," Miyu said with a hint of a smile.

"By the by, Kodachi," Shinra's eyes narrowed, "This isn't one of your 'special' teas, is it? One with paralysis powder?"

"Good heavens, what ever do you mean?" Kodachi asked, looking dismayed.

"Sasuke!" Shinra barked the name of the Kuno servant, and he was at her side in an instant.

"Y-yes, Kuonji-san?"

"Would you be so kind as to taste my tea?" Shinra smiled sweetly, "I don't want to burn my tongue if it's too hot."

Sasuke sighed inwardly, but to his credit gave no outward sign of his dread at having to drink one of Kodachi's teas. He picked up the cup and raised it to his lips to take a sip.

"Sasuke, that will be all," Kodachi said sternly, "You are dismissed."

"Your tea seems to have soured on us, Kodachi," Shinra smirked.

"Probably the hand that made it," Miyu Kuonji said, "I don't even know why I bothered to come here."

"Well, after all," Kodachi smiled, "We ladies of noble standing should socialize more frequently."

"You'll pardon me if I don't relish the idea of being incapacitated with that lecherous brother of yours about," Miyu said.

"Oh, you needn't worry about my dear Tatewaki," Kodachi said, "Right now he's utterly infatuated by a couple of local girls. Besides, Miyu, for all his faults, my brother is interested in girls who have a more...mature...figure."

"Why you..." Miyu's eyes narrowed.

Shinra put her hand on Miyu's shoulder, a sign to her sister to hold her tongue for the time being.

"It must be hard on you," Shinra said with a deep understanding, "Having such a man as your brother in the family. His escapades must be a terrible burden for the family name. And no less so your Father. I read an article about some of the revisions he attempted to make at the high-school he runs."

"Yes, it can be very trying. After all, a family of breeding has only its reputation to back it up. And even worse so when you have a common name. Some miscreant could besmirch the family while having no blood ties, and all because of name association.

"Why, for example, right now we have a Kuonji right here in Nerima. A guttersnipe of a girl who runs an okonomiyaki restaurant. Imagine if she were associated with your family, what shame it might bring."

Shinra was suddenly very focused, "An okonomiyaki chef named Kuonji? She wouldn't happen to have the oddly masculine given name of Ukyo, would she?"

"Why, she does," Kodachi said, "Do you know her?"

Shinra stood, "Miyu, Yume, we're taking our leave. Pardon us, Kodachi. It seems the family has some business to attend to. We'll have to invite you to our house soon"

As they walked to their limousine, servants close behind, Miyu turned to Shinra, "You're not planning on bothering our cousin, are you?"

"I just want to ensure that she's doing alright," Shinra said, "She hasn't had the easiest of lives. No sooner was she born than her father saddled her with a manly name. And you heard about her rather unfortunate betrothal from her childhood."

"It'll be nice to see Uc-chan," Yume said, "It's been ages."

"Why do I have the feeling that this is all going to go very badly," Miyu sighed to no one in particular.

It was several hours later that Ranma and Akane were walking home from school with Ukyo Kuonji at their side.

"So, you guys coming by today to get some okonomiyaki?" Ukyo asked them.

"I'd like to, Uc-chan," Ranma said, "But I'm flat broke today."

Akane blinked, "YOU'RE turning down food from Ukyo?"

"Do you have to tease me about that? You're so uncute. I can't afford to do it today."

Ranma looked dejected.

"Ranma, if you want, I'll treat," Akane said with a sigh.

Ranma perked up.

"One, Ranma. That's it. And not a deluxe."

"Akane, you're the best. Well, Ukyo, I guess we are stopping by your place today."

"Super," Ukyo said, "Then let's...urk."

As they rounded a corner, they saw a limousine parked in front of Uc-chan's Okonomiyaki, as well as a sign that read, "Closed for Business Today. We Apologize for the Inconvenience."

"Ranma, isn't that the same limo we saw at Kuno's this morning?"

"Whoever they are, they're not stopping me from getting my okonomiyaki," Ranma said.

"Ranma-honey, stay out of this one," Ukyo said.

"Ukyo?" Akane looked surprised.

"It's a family matter. There's nothing you can do about it."

Ranma shook his head, "I'm gonna have a chat with them."

Before anyone could say anything, Ranma had barged into the shop. Akane and Ukyo heard a startled outcry, and a crash, and then ran to the shop to see what had happened.

"Ranma!"

"Ranma-honey!"

They saw Ranma lying face down on the ground, a tall mustachioed man standing with one foot on Ranma's back. Seated at the counter was a girl in elaborate black clothes, a girl with long blonde hair tied in twintails beside her, and a pink-haired girl beside her. A young man and a young woman wearing matching clothes stood on either side of the seated girls.

"Hello, Ukyo-chan," The dark haired girl said with a smile.

"Sh-Shinra," Ukyo managed to whisper the name.

"Ranma, are you alright?" Akane asked.

"Get this stuffed shirt off of me," Ranma said, "I came into the shop, and he kicked me and threw me on the ground!"

"Well," Shinra Kuonji said, "You came into a shop that said it was closed. The Colonel had to assume you were a sneak-thief."

"What sort of thief uses the front door in broad daylight?" Ranma demanded.

"And why is my shop closed without my say so? " Ukyo found her voice.

"Well, I wanted to catch up with you," Shinra said, "You can tell your customers whatever you like. An unruly customer damaged some equipment, for example."

"I'm losing money as we speak!" Ukyo fumed.

"It's not a problem," the blonde girl said, "I've put in an order for enough okonomiyaki to cover your daily expenses. We'll distribute them as free samples, and it'll spread the word about your shop."

Ukyo breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Miyu-san."

"Ukyo, are these your friends? Introduce us."

Ukyo sighed, "Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo, allow me to introduce my cousins. Shinra Kuonji, Miyu Kuonji, and Yume Kuonji.

"Shinra is a conductor for a symphony orchestra.

"Miyu is prodigy and holds several patents for her inventions.

"And Yume is about our age and still in high-school."

"She's out of school," Ranma said, pointing at Miyu.

"Don't be insulting," Miyu said, "I know how I look, but I'm actually in my twenties. And I won't be treated like a kid."

"Remember Miss Hinako," Akane whispered to Ranma, "Don't make assumptions."

"These are our servants," Shinra said, "You've met the Colonel."

The austere man bowed.

"This is Ren Uesugi, my personal butler, and this is Natose, my head of security."

"Forgive my act against you," The Colonel bowed, "If I had known that you were a friend of Lady Ukyo, I would have been more careful with you."

"Yeah, well, I'm fine, so no harm done I guess," Ranma said, "Don't think you can get me like that again, though."

"Don't talk so big," Shinra said, "I know all about you, Ranma Saotome. Your name is already a stain on the Kuonji line."

"Wh-What!?" Ranma turned to Ukyo, "What are they..."

"The engagement," Ukyo said.

"That?!" Ranma turned to face Shinra Kuonji, "I didn't make that arrangement, and I'm not the one who broke it either. That was all my old man's doing, and I'm getting a bit tired of being judged for his sins.

"Ukyo and I have reconciled our differences. We're friends. So where do you get off, telling me..."

"Watch how you speak to Shinra-sama!" Ren said hotly, "I won't allow you to..."

"Ren," Shinra spoke calmly, "it's quite alright. This uncouth barbarian simply doesn't have the knowledge about how to speak to his betters.

"For your information, Saotome, I have done a great deal of research about you, and what I've learned isn't very appealing at all. You are engaged to no fewer than ten women. And yes, I know that you're only aware of three outstanding engagements and one that you settled. Your father is a dishonorable man, and his blood runs in your veins."

"Shinra, you're being unfair!" Ukyo protested, "Ranma is nothing like his Dad."

"Isn't he? He's a brash loudmouth. An uncouth lout who acts first and thinks later, if at all. Did you think, that after spurning a Kuonji, even a member of a low branch, that you would be forgiven?"

"Why you..." Ranma's fists were clenched.

"Ukyo, I'm going to make this clear. Sever your ties to this cretin, or I will call in the favor that you owe me. I don't relish such tactics, but to preserve the family name..."

"How dare you," Ranma said, his tone stern, but his voice even, "You come in here, and you think that because you have money you can just tell people what to do, and they have to do it? You're the worst kind of scum. A bully who thinks that her title and privilege grant her some special power to walk all over anyone who you see fit. In short, a selfish, spoiled brat!

"Well, I got news for you. No one talks to one of my friends like that, not unless they want to deal with me. And if ya did half the research you claim you did, you'd know that people who intimidate my friends don't get away with it."

"Why you insolent..." Shinra rose, but stopped mid sentence. She began to sway to one side, and then she misstepped, and fell.

"Shinra-sama!" Ren dove to the ground and caught Shinra before she hit her head.

"Shinra!" the Colonel looked alarmed.

"Quick, "Akane said, "there's a doctor not far from here."

"The Kuonji family has their own physicians," The Colonel said.

"And they're probably much further away than the doctor this young lady knows," Miyu said reasonably, "Show us the way. Please."

A short time later, they were at Dr. Tofu's office.

"It's not often I see celebrities," Tofu said with his usual jovial demeanor, "In any event, rest assured that I'll keep everything confidential.

"In any case, it looks like a simple case of exhaustion brought on by overwork and the flu."

"Flu?" Yume looked puzzled, "I didn't even know she was sick."

"That's typical," Miyu said, "I'll wager that Shinra thought that if she refused to acknowledge her illness, it wouldn't be real.

"It's her own fault for not paying better attention to her health."

"No, Mistress Miyu, it is my fault. As her butler, it was my job to see to Mistress Shinra's health," The Colonel said

"The same goes for me," Ren said, "It's my fault that Shinra is sick."

Ranma made a noise of pure disgust, "Is she incapable of doing anything for herself?"

Shinra's voice came from the examining room, "Is that no account philanderer still here?"

Miyu sighed softly, then turned to Ukyo, "I'll talk to her, alright. Just wait here. And you, Saotome, is it? I'd like a word with you later, in private."

Doctor Tofu showed Miyu into the room, "I'll let you two talk, but she needs her rest, so try not to upset her."

With that, Tofu left the room.

"Oh, my precious Miyu-tan has come to comfort me," Shinra smiled, "Come on, climb in with me, and let me soak up some of the essence of a cute little sister."

"You're creepy when you talk that way," Miyu said with a sour expression, sitting in the chair next to Shinra's bed, making sure she was out of Shinra's eager reach first, "And, of course, you had to go there, throwing your weight and titles around, didn't you?"

Shinra blinked, "What are you saying?"

"You know, that Ranma guy really managed to get under your skin quickly, didn't he? Why is that, sis? Is it because he had the temerity to speak to you that way? Or is it that he pretty much hit the nail on the head?"

Now Shinra's eyes narrowed in clear anger, "What do you mean? Are you saying that low class..."

Miyu held up her hand, "You barged into Ukyo's shop, without any word that you were coming, and closed her business, which, for someone like her, can cost her countless yen. And in her position, she needs every bit of her money.

"You insult her fiance, despite the fact that she chose to pursue her relationship with him. Her father may have arranged the marriage, but he only did it because he saw how fond Ukyo was of Ranma when they were kids. And she's not a kid anymore, Sis. She's living on her own, running her own business, and she didn't come here to play house. She came here to teach the Saotome's a lesson in what it means to make fools of the Kuonji family.

"And yet she still chose to try and win Ranma back. There's something to the boy that she finds admirable. And to tell you the honest truth, I can see it.

"And he's right about you, too. You rely on others to do almost everything for you, sis. Ren. The Colonel. Benisu. I admit that you had to study hard to become a masterful conductor, and I can appreciate the hard work that took.

"But can you honestly say that you've accomplished anything more than that?

"I have my inventions and patents, and I'm still determined to open that family restaurant. And from time to time, I help the others out in the kitchen.

"Yume has a very...active...imagination, and she also took a part time job, recently. And she's good at it, too. None of the awkwardness or clumsiness that people have been led to expect from anime and light novels.

"But if you suddenly found yourself having to take care of your own needs, could you?"

Shinra fell silent and looked out the window.

"In any case," Miyu smiled and put her hand on her sister's shoulder, "Maybe a bit less high and mighty and a bit more understanding. After all, Ukyo is our cousin, and she doesn't need you trying to run her life."

Shinra sighed, "I'll think about it."

As Miyu left Shinra's room, she saw a heated exchange between Ranma and Akane Tendo.

"...had to go and get involved!" Akane was saying.

"What, I should just abandon Ukyo? She was being picked on for being my friend. That's not something I take kindly to, Akane!"

"Sometimes I wonder if you are still interested in being her fiance," Akane huffed, "Well, you can just move in with her, if that's what you want!"

"Why do you have to be so stupid?" Ranma growled, "No matter what I do to help someone, you always think the worst of me."

"What did you call me? Ranma you..."Akane's fist balled up to throw a punch, when Miyu threw herself between the two.

"Pardon me a moment, please, Tendo-san," Miyu said, "I need to have a word with Saotome. In private. Would you mind if I borrowed him for a moment?"

"Another suitor, Ranma? Are you planning to take him off Ukyo's hands in exchange for your sister's cooperation?"

Miyu looked surprised for a moment, then laughed, "I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. But if Shinra wouldn't allow Ukyo to marry Ranma, then one of her own sisters trying to take the plunge with him would be cause for a swift execution.

"No, I'm not interested in taking your fiance. I just want to explain a few basic facts to him. Besides, Tendo-san, I'm not into high-school guys, despite my looks."

Akane relented, "Okay. Ranma, she seems trustworthy. Don't YOU do anything to give her a reputation."

As they walked along the road, the sun setting, Ranma looked over at Miyu, "What do you want to talk about? You gonna tell me that your sister is a dangerous person, that I shouldn't cross her, and that you want to avenge her little fainting spell 'cause you think I caused it?"

Miyu's smile was sharp, "I think you feel a bit guilty about it yourself, and you're trying to steal my thunder so that I can't use it against you.

"The truth is, I'm not here to side with Shinra. Threatening Ukyo's restaurant was crossing a line she shouldn't have crossed, and honestly, I think I can see why Ukyo likes you. You're a bit rough around the edges, but you're fairly straightforward. You remind me a bit of Ren. He's the younger butler you met a moment ago.

"Anyway, no, I think you pretty much called Shinra out for her bad behavior. I think it's time she heard it from someone. So, thank you for telling it like it is.

"Still, I think that in many ways, Shinra has your number, too."

Ranma turned, "What?!"

"You are quite loud. Needlessly so. And you're brash. Impulsive. I bet right now, the slight criticism I'm giving you have you seething with rage inside. But you won't act on it because I'm a girl and you have a code that you follow diligently which forbids you to strike girls."

Ranma felt a stinging truth behind her words, and his body released it's tension, "Really?"

"You act without thinking, and there are times when that can save you. But there are other times where that only gets you in trouble. Like with your fiance, for example. Tendo-san, not Uc-chan."

"What makes you think..."

"The little spat I just interrupted?" Miyu offered, "You claim you can't hit girls, but I see you have no problems with the tongue lashings. The girl is supposedly your fiance since early childhood, right? From the way you were talking to her, I would have assumed that she was someone who might have stolen from you or slaughtered your family or something."

"I didn't ask to be engaged to her," Ranma said, bringing up his usual defense, "It was something our parents decided without ever asking us. Akane's not so fond of the idea, either, in case you hadn't noticed."

Miyu nodded, "Yes, I can see that. It's funny, though."

"What's funny?" Ranma asked.

"If the two of you were forced into this by your parents against your will, and neither of you want anything to do with it, I would think that she'd be your strongest ally, instead of you two at each other's throats.

"The truth, Saotome, is that you seem like a basically decent kind of guy, but you're also pretty thoughtless and insensitive until someone shoves your nose into the mess you've made.

"If you do end up with my cousin, I honestly hope that you treat her a hell of a lot better than you treat Tendo-san."

Miyu tuned to walk off, "I'm going back to check on my sister. Don't worry about her. I've already convinced her to lay off of Ukyo. But think about what I've said."

Ranma stood alone as night fell, looking down the road after Miyu as she walked away, and still looking, even after she'd gone from sight.

The next morning, Ranma was preparing for school silently.

"Cat got your tongue, Ranma?" Akane asked pointedly.

"I'm in a bad mood, okay," Ranma said, "Lay off me for awhile, will you?"

Akane looked perplexed, "What's with you? Did what that snooty girl said get to you?"

"No. Don't be ridiculous, Akane, But...I guess I feel a bit guilty. I mean, I never would have yelled at her like that if I'd known she was sick."

"And it's okay to talk to her that way when she's not sick?" Akane asked.

"I guess it probably isn't," Ranma said, "But sometimes things need to be said. I mean, if she'd shown up and insisted that I marry Ukyo to honor the agreement, and break it off with you, I would have reacted the exact same way."

Akane blushed, "Wha...what are you saying? That's embarrassing, Ranma."

"What Ranma-san is saying," A voice came from behind them, "is that he simply doesn't like to be told what to do."

They turned to see Shinra Kuonji standing in the living room, Kasumi right behind her.

"Ranma, Akane, we have guests."

"What are you doing here?" Ranma demanded.

"Firstly, to apologize for being so brusque yesterday. I judged you without getting to know you, Saotome-san, a mistake that I will not make again.

"Secondly, my sisters both suggested that I might understand you a bit better if I tried to do for myself for awhile. Seeing as how the orchestra is in the off season, I thought I might kill two birds with one stone by learning to do some of the basic domestic chores for myself while rubbing my newfound abilities in your face."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Ranma smirked.

"Ah, I see you've met Ranma and Akane," Soun Tendo entered the room, "Ranma, Akane, Ukyo's cousin has paid a generous sum to rent the dojo for her servants and herself for the next three months, as well as have Kasumi instruct her on basic household chores.


	2. Chapter 2

Wild Horses and Noble Masters

By

Bryan Weber.

Disclaimer: I do not own either Ranma 1/2 or They are my Noble Masters. Both are being used without permission. Both series and all related characters are the respective properties of their owners and/or copyright holders. Please do not sue, as I am not making any money on this.

Ch. 2

"I don't see why Shinra-sama has to study domestic chores in a place like this," Benisu huffed as she carried bags along the walkway in front of the Tendo household.

"When one is studying, the Teacher must be the Master," The Colonel said, "And none of us is prepared to be Shinra-sama's master."

"I don't see why Shinra-sama has to train at all," Ren said, "Domestic chores are the duty of the butlers and maids. Why should she be worried about anything that loudmouthed punk had to say?"

"Ranma Saotome is a loudmouthed idiot," Shinra said, "However, it is said that children and fools speak the truth, and since Saotome is a foolish child, it may well be that he has stumbled upon areas where I need improvement.

"It is true that I am a busy person and that I have employed servants to attend to the menial tasks which would interfere with my more pressing responsibilities. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't be versed in those tasks. One must never confuse wealth with self-reliance."

"And you are quite sure that you don't wish for any of the other servants to join us?" The Colonel asked.

"You three shall be sufficient. After all, Yume still has classes to attend, and Miyu said that she wanted to stay home for now and work on some of her inventions, and they shouldn't be deprived of the aid of the family servants just because I've stepped out."

"Why did you bring me, Shinra-sama?" Benisu asked, "I know Mihato is good in the kitchen, but will you really need a cook along?"

"I didn't bring you as a cook, my sweet Benisu," Shinra said with a smile.

"Then why..."

"Hello," A bright and cheery voice greeted them. Shinra had already met Kasumi Tendo on her first visit to the Tendo Dojo, and as she and her servants turned, she saw the young woman kneeling and bowing before them, prostrating herself before her guests as a true Yamato Nadeshiko, "We're honored to have you all here as our guests. Please come in and make yourselves at home."

"I brought you along so that I would keep my hands off of her," Shinra whispered in Benisu's ear, "She's my teacher here, but she's just so damn cute."

"Please come this way," Kasumi said, "I'll show you around the house."

"Kasumi, dear, let me do that. You've been so busy lately," Ren had to look down to track the source of the voice. Standing before them all was a short balding man with a pipe.

"Oh, Grandfather Happosai. Well, if you insist..."

"It would be my honor," Happosai said with a smile that, if one didn't know him, they might have thought was a sincere gesture of kindness.

"If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to speak with Ranma Saotome," Shinra said.

"Ranma is training with his father in the yard," Happosai said, "This way."

There was a great deal of noise coming from outside, and as Happosai opened the sliding door that lead from the living room to the yard, they were able to see why.

Ren had thought that Ranma's body had looked toned and muscled the first time he'd encountered the loudmouth, but now he was certain. Ranma was trading blows with a much heavier looking man wearing a gi. Their moves were fast, precise, and they looked as if they might be potentially lethal.

"I see," Said the Colonel, stroking his mustache, "They do not hold back, nor do they hesitate. Father uses all of his force in order to better train son. He knows that to train him properly, he must risk killing him."

"Actually," a young woman's voice spoke with a cynical, sarcastic tone, " Ranma ate the dessert that his Father had been saving in the fridge, so I think they're both being pretty serious here."

"Nabiki!" a younger looking girl, whom Ren recognized from their previous encounter with the Saotome boy, chided the girl who had just spoken, "That's not the sort of thing you should be telling our guests."

Nabiki opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment Ranma landed a blow, and knocked his father into the koi pond in the yard. There was a tremendous splash, and when the water cleared, Genma Saotome was no longer standing before them. Instead...

Shinra Kuonji's eyes went wide, first in surprise, and then in utter delight. Her lips trembled, quivering with emotion, curling up involuntarily at the ends, forming an intoxicated smile.

"P-P-P..."

"Shinra-sama?" Ren looked over his shoulder in sudden concern.

"PANDA!" Shinra cried out, not in alarm, but in sheer, unadulterated elation. She launched herself from the deck to Genma's side with a single leap, and threw her arms around the enormous panda that now stood before them.

Ranma stood there, rubbing his head in confusion.

"Uh...Yo."

"Saotome," Shinra turned her crimson eyes on Ranma, "What sorcery is this? How did your Father become a Panda?"

"It's sort of a long story," Ranma said, "Pop took us training in China, and..."

"Your Father took you to the forbidden training grounds at the Bayankala Mountains, where the cursed training grounds of Jusenkyo exist," The Colonel said, "Why, though? Why would he do something as foolish as to visit a forbidden training ground? Could it be that he has no fear? That he dared to challenge the very wrath of the gods, and this is the retribution that was meted out for his audacity?"

"Pop doesn't speak or read a word of Chinese," Ranma said, "So he had no idea what we were getting into."

"So, your Father becomes this adorable panda?" Shinra said, looking between Father and Son. Her smile became sly, and she grabbed Ranma by the front of his shirt and with a single deft motion, tossed the surprised martial artist into the koi pond.

"What are you doing?" Akane Tendo demanded.

"I rather like pandas," Shinra said, "So if Father becomes a panda, then the son must also..."

"I fell into a different cursed spring," A feminine voice spoke from the pond. Shinra turned to see a rather attractive young woman with red hair and a fiery gaze standing before her wearing Ranma's clothes.

Shinra's smile grew larger, and she grabbed Ranma with her free hand and held the gender-swapped martial artist to her.

"This is a wonderful day," Shinra said with a contented sigh.

*************

"It's so quiet without Oneesan here," Yume sighed.

"I know. It's great," Miyu said enthusiastically, thumbing through a copy of _**Shorts Monthly**, _"I can do my morning exercises and take my bath and even lounge around in summer clothes without being molested."

"Oh, I have to work at my part-time job, today," Yume said, "Could you have Natose bring the car around?"

"Sure. Hey, I've never seen where you work. Would it be a problem if I stopped by?"

Yume shook her head, "Not at all. It's a great place, and my co-workers are really fun people."

A moment later they were riding in the limo with Natose at the wheel. De Niro was sitting in Miyu's lap.

"Yume, will I be picking you up at the normal time today?"

"Actually, could you come by a half-hour later than normal," Yume said, "The owner is celebrating her birthday today and we're all going to celebrate after we close."

Miyu smiled, "Sounds like you really do fit in there, Yume. I'm happy for you."

"Sis, I keep meaning to ask, when are you going to start that family restaurant you're always talking about?"

"It's going to be a little while. I'm doing a lot of research about the types of food I should serve, prices, and, of course, location.

"Plus, I've got to find some decent cooks to work there. I want all of my ingredients to be as fresh as possible, and I want really good cooks who know how to cook as well as Benisu and Mihato to work for me."

"Sounds ambitious," Yume said, amazed.

"Miyu-sama is a genius, after all," De Niro said.

"We're here," Natose said with a smile.

Miyu looked around. It looked like a fairly average part of the city. They were parked in front of a small restaurant, the sign reading Neko-hanten.

"Shampoo!" an exuberant voice called out, and Miyu found herself facing a young man with long black hair and a flowing white robe, his face covered by thick glasses, leaping at her.

He was stopped as Natose's foot struck his face, and he went sprawling on the ground.

"Mousse!" Natose shouted, "How often do I have to tell you, stop trying to get fresh with my mistresses. This is Yume's sister, Miyu-san."

"Is he a moron?" Miyu whispered to Natose.

"No. Near-sighted and madly in love," Natose responded.

"Get your glasses checked," Miyu said with a huff, and then the two of them walked into the Neko-hanten after Yume.

"Cologne? Shampoo?"

"Shampoo is out on a delivery," A miniscule and aged woman hopped into the front of the restaurant on a long wooden stick, "Did you need something?"

"I just wanted to introduce you to my sister, Miyu," Yume smiled.

"Thank you for taking such good care of my little sister," Miyu bowed.

"Did she say little sister?" one of the customers asked.

"She's a hard worker," Cologne said, "and having her as a waitress means I don't have to have Mousse wait on customers when Shampoo is making deliveries."

Miyu's eyes narrowed, and she smiled her sharp smile, "You don't seem surprised that I'm the elder sister."

"At my age, you learn to judge things on more than just appearance," Cologne said with a laugh.

"Not to be rude, but I heard that today was your birthday," Miyu said, "May I ask how old you are?"

"I'll be three-hundred and one years old today," Cologne said.

Miyu smiled, "And here I wouldn't have put you at a day over a hundred."

Cologne laughed, "You're sweet."

"Miyu-san," Natose spoke softly, "We should really let Yume-san get to her job."

"Of course. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, Ukyo's restaurant is right near here. We should pay her a visit."

"Ukyo? Ukyo Kuonji?"

"You know her?" Miyu asked of Cologne.

"We're both members of the local business association. She's a nice enough girl, but a hundred years too young to take me on."

Miyu decided not to ask what Cologne meant by that, and she and Natose said their farewells and got back in the limo, and drove a few blocks down to Ukyo's restaurant.

"Ukyo?" Miyu called out as she came in, "It's us!"

"Oh, hey guys!" Ukyo waved them over to the counter, "How are you? So, is it true what I heard? Is Shinra really going to be staying at the Tendo Dojo?"

"It's true," Miyu said, "She's got it in her head to prove Ranma Saotome wrong about her. But how did you know?"

"I told her," A young man in a yellow sweater and green pants said from the counter where he was wolfing down an okonomiyaki.

"This is Ryoga Hibiki," Ukyo introduced him, "He spends a lot of time with the Tendo family, so he heard about it and let me know."

"Is she going to be okay with Happosai there?" Ryoga asked.

"Happosai?" Miyu raised an eyebrow.

"You mean she doesn't know?" Ukyo looked alarmed, "This is bad. Excuse me. I have to call and warn her!"

"Um, who is Happosai?" Miyu asked, "I thought her biggest problem would be getting along with Ranma."

"Pft. Ranma is a jerk, and a loudmouth, and a coward, and a...."

"Excuse me, Happosai?" Miyu redirected Ryoga's focus.

"Oh, right. Happosai makes Ranma look like a saint. He's evil incarnate. Why, right now, there's no telling what sort of trouble he could be causing for your sister."

************************

"He's a beast," Ren was panting as he and Ranma ran along the roof of the Tendo Dojo, "Where does he get such power?"

"The old freak is a mega-pervert," Ranma said, "Get him anywhere near a pair of panties or a bra, and he'd probably have the strength to take on the entire JSDF."

Ranma and Ren had spent the early morning hours glaring at each other until Ranma had realized that he hadn't heard or seen from Happosai the whole day. It wasn't hard to figure out. There was a new girl in the house, and Happosai was laying in wait.

Happosai was attempting to steal Shinra Kuonji's panties.

"Ren," The Colonel said, "In the face of a common enemy, an enemy can become one's greatest ally."

Now, they were giving chase to Happosai, and Ren was learning firsthand just how powerful the pint-sized pervert really was. He would have welcomed the Colonel's training as a respite from this old goat's attacks.

"Watch out!" Ranma warned, "It's.."

"Happo-Fire-Burst!" Ren ducked as an object was lobbed in his direction, only to be flung forward by a powerful concussive force behind him.

"What was that?!"

"Here it comes again!" Ranma warned, and the two of them leapt to safety.

"Get lost, Ranma. I'm working," Happosai said sternly.

"Oh no you don't, you stinky old goat," Ranma growled, "I'm gonna..."

"Take this!" Ren caught another Happo-Fire-Burst and hurled the unwanted orb back to Happosai.

Happy dodged it and then launched a full force assault against Ren. The old man's blows were strong and sharp, and he struck with the speed of a mongoose. Ren hit the ground and found himself shaking it off.

"Don't think you can beat me, punk. You're a hundred years too young to..."

Happosai was cut short when Ranma landed on his head.

"You talk too much, freak," Ranma said.

"It's not fair!" Happosai protested, "It's not fair! There are two new cuties here!"

"Oh give it a rest," Ranma sighed, "What makes you think I'm gonna let you..."

"Saotome! Ren! What are you doing to that old man?" Shinra demanded sharply.

"Shinra-sama, he..."

"The old freak is trying to steal your underwear," Ranma said evenly, "We're keeping him corralled for ya."

Shinra walked over to them, and her crimson eyes met Happosai's, "Is this true? Were you going to steal my unmentionables?"

Ordinarily, Happy would have lied, denied his true intentions. But there was something about Shinra's gaze that simply penetrated him."Yes, it's true," He said in a defeated tone.

Shinra nodded, "I see. Wait here."

She walked back to the house. A moment later she returned with a small bundle, "Here."

"Sh-Shinra-sama?"

"Are you crazy?" Ranma asked her.

"I won't have you beating up senior citizens in my name," Shinra said to Ren, and turning to Ranma added, "And whatever quarrel you may have with him is of no concern to me.

"We have to be kind to the elderly. They have sacrificed so much to us, and it's only fair that we make certain sacrifices to them. If a pair of my undergarments or two will help to make him happy, it's a small price to pay."

And then Shinra's smile grew, "And it's not as if he could ever experience pleasure with a flesh and blood woman. I mean, just look at him. He's long past the years when he could have satisfied a woman. If the soft caress of my silk underthings can help stoke memories of the glory he can never go again, who am I to deny an old man his few miserably gotten pleasures."

Shinra set the bundle of underwear down and walked away.

Ranma and Ren both turned to look at Happosai, whose eyes were wide, and watering with tears.

"Shinra-sama says you can have them," Ren said, nodding at the panties.

"I don't want them," Happosai said, walking off dejectedly. Ranma wasn't sure if it was the fact that they had been given to him, and his thrill of stealing them had been denied, or if Shinra's comments had hurt Happosai far more deeply than any blow that he could have landed.

"I know! I steal some from that cute redheaded maid!" Happosai suddenly proposed enthusiastically.

"Oh, you mean Peni...er, I mean Benisu?" Ren had a mischievous look in his eye as he "slipped" in pronouncing the maid's name.

The association wasn't lost on Happosai, though.

"You mean I have to settle for stealing Akane's old things?" Happy asked.

"Settle?" Akane was suddenly standing behind Happy with a bamboo sword, her right eye twitching with barely contained rage.

"Oh well, I see things are getting back to normal," Ranma sighed.

"Lady, I'm a married man!" Ranma heard his father, Genma, shout in alarm.

"Oh, don't be that way," Shinra said with a pouting face, "I just want to cuddle with a big teddy bear tonight."

"There you go, making unreasonable demands again," Ranma said.

Shinra turned to face him, "Is it so unreasonable. I'm a single woman away from her home. All I want is to have something cute and furry to cuddle with at night. And you have to admit, he's much cuter as a panda."

Ranma sighed, and handed Shinra a bucket, "Can't argue with that. Have fun."

"Ranma how dare you be...Murmrurmurmurmur," Genma ceased speaking as the cold water hit him and he was transformed into a hulking panda bear yet again.

"Have fun, Pop!" Ranma called as Shinra began to chase him through the house.

"Should we help him?" Ren asked,.

"She's your mistress. Wouldn't she be upset with you?"

"I guess you're right," Ren agreed.

"Besides, it's actually kinda fun to watch the old man get chased around by a crazy girl for a change. C'mon. Let_'s see if Kasumi has any pork buns ready." _


End file.
